On May 30th, 2008 Glenn and I welcomed our third child into the world...a healthy
baby boy weighing in at 8lbs 7oz (did I mention he was 2.5 weeks early?!) Since his arrival I seriously have not slept more than three hours at a time. Almost two months later... it's finally catching up with me! hahaha I don't mind though. Chance was my third c-section and first boy, so for safety reason's we have decided that if we want more children... it will be through adoption. Being that the process is so expensive and potentially emotionally draining, adoption is a dream of ours and nothing set in concrete. With that being said, Chance may be our last baby. *tearing up* I have chosen to slow down and embrace every moment...even the 5a.m. feedings. Once his belly's full, he is usually wide awake and ready to absorb the new world around him. His sweet innocence and complete vulnerability and helplessness consumes me sometimes to tears. I am so in love with a little person that hasn't even developed a personality of his own...he can't even smile yet! :) Yes, I have experienced these feelings twice before...with my four year old, Dreama, and almost three year old, Grace, but there's a slight difference with every child. I love them all, but each a little differently.
At night, with Chance wide-eyed and ready to hear my voice, I don't struggle for things to say to him...I just say what's on my heart. It's funny because my husband holds him and loves to talk to him, but the only thing he manages to get out (over and over again) is, "Hey Buddy! Hey!" I giggle and without fail he shoots me a look and asks, "What should I say? I'm just not good at talking to myself." I tell him I speak of everything from how much I want for him and his sisters to follow their dreams to how much I hate doing the endless laundry pile! Chance gives me the same stare he gives his Daddy, so I know that no matter what we're saying to him he just loves to hear our voice...but that doesn't keep me from melting just the same. I'm in love :)
Midnight thoughts:
I'm exhausted just thinking of the responsibility I have chosen to carry on my shoulders. I am a mother of three. It's my job to mold these little people into responsible, productive and thriving adults. Childhood should be filled with innocence, laughter and big dreams, but somehow I have to incorporate teaching my children about 'strangers' and drugs all while attempting not to rob them of their childlike views on the world. I can't isolate them, I can only try to incorporate my morals and values into our every day life and pray that they make wise decisions as they grow older and more independent. It's sad and it's scary. I have one chance and I hope I'm doing things right.
Wow, that last paragraph went really deep! I think I need to lighten things up a bit! ;) Life with Chance is amazing. He completes our family and we couldn't have asked for anything more. The girls must believe that their new baby brother is a doll. If they could, they would hold him every second of every day. He is the luckiest boy in the world to have sister's as much in love with him as they are.
Big sister Dreama...
Big sister Grace....
Motherhood and photography go hand in hand for me...I couldn't imagine me without either.
